In the past few years, I’ve spent a large part of my time with influencers and creators, primarily those across the Middle East but some overseas too. I’ve sought to learn and understand a bit about their work, their lives and what drives the ones who outshine the rest.
In my conversations with some of the biggest influencers, I most often heard:
- Why they were solely responsible for their success
- How they cannot trust those around them
- Highlighting the weaknesses and shortcomings of people behind their backs
- Routinely remind people around them of their influence, subtly or overtly
- Compliment you so they could get a compliment back
Speaking this way did not detract from their financial success. But their lives were gruelling, driven by obsession with what they owned and blinded by pride. All this served to create separation between them and everybody else.
I begun to obsess over understanding what impactful influence looked like and what qualities separated just the rich from the truly great. So much so that I’m now building my third start-up (8Flamez) with my two partners: A prolific creator (AboFlah) and a business partner (Eyad) who has spent over a decade in the space.
Throughout this journey, as with us all, so much has happened in my personal life that has compelled me to reflect on why I do things instead of what I do. When we meet people, we don’t see why they do things, we see what they do.
For the vast majority of influencers, they are tremendously concerned with the seen > the unseen. Much more than the rest of us. The what > why. We’re all imperfect. And those with greater influence are tested more than those without.
Why > What
Reflecting on the 1,000+ hours of time with influencers, this is ultimately what I learned:
It is the ones who prioritise their why > their what and refuse to let pride consume them who really really stand out. No matter how influential they get. These are the ones who make real impact on everyone around them. The biggest YouTuber in the world (Mr Beast) is constantly reaffirming to people his why before explaining what and how. No surprise there.
Creators focused on launching ventures that aren’t aligned with their why will always get beat by creators who build things with purpose.
Most of us aren’t surrounded by droves of yes men/women constantly reaffirming what we do, which leads us to forget our why. As one accumulates more of these people in their circle, the harm it does to your why is staggering.
Learning
Whilst this is about influencers, there’s a lesson in this for me and all who wish to hear it. Surround yourself with people who seek to better you and be masterful at managing your pride.
Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, one of the most inspirational companions of our Prophet (ﷺ /PBUB) is quoted as saying: “May Allah have mercy on the one who shows me my faults.“
And for those amongst us eager to heed the advice of our beloved Prophet (ﷺ /PBUB), his words on pride will make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck:
لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ ذَرَّةٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ…الْكِبْرُ بَطَرُ الْحَقِّ وَغَمْطُ النَّاسِ
“Whoever has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart, will not enter Paradise… Arrogance is to reject the truth and belittle people.” -Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ / PBUH), Narrated Abdullāh Ibn Mas’ūd, Sahih Muslim, Book of Faith, Vol.1, Hadith No.91
When the Prophet (ﷺ / PBUH) informed the companions that a person who has even the smallest amount of pride in his heart will not enter paradise, they remarked: ‘What if a man likes his clothes to look nice and his shoes to look nice?’. He replied to them, ‘verily Allāh is beautiful and loves beauty; arrogance means rejecting the truth and belittling people.